Sean Heany as the
Pelican Man, also known to
the Fornay as Hew Saxlapush Yan.
to voice over artist Tim George
the part of Hank Peabody
Tim George's website to learn more
about his work
Milk Shakes for Dinner
from The Reeducation
of a Turd Peddler
by John Henry Peabody
A BLOCK FROM the mission, on Lasuen Drive which intersected Rio Road,
we met back up with Peter and Targuman in the kitchen of another safe
house. It was about a half hour after sundown. We were all having a
bite to eat while Targuman, wearing two coats, a hat and rubber bootsless
Aqualung and more Mortons fishermanworked the blender in
the adjoining pantry. The doorbell rang.
Janet got up and switched on the porch light. It was Ksen.
Hello, Janet opened the door. Ksen came in
quickly. Im sorry I didnt put the light on,
Janet apologized. Weve been trying to figure out the lights
and all the switches in the place.
Myra and Boss have a little list and a how-to paper
here under the sink, Ksen opened the door and lifted a piece of
Myra and Boss? I asked. The people we
were supposed to see in the Hall of Jars?
Yes, Ksen said. This is their summer
house they own with his sister. Its their anniversary. The Kisunas
have been married for, I think, twenty-five years.
So weve heard, Janet smiled.
The never-ending story, I said.
They went to Mexico on a cruise. Their kids got it
Targuman hit the switch in the pantry and the blender ran.
He looked at Peter who nodded back to him. Janet pulled out a set of
white bags with Jamba Juice stickers. Next to them were empty Styrofoam
cups with straws and lids. Targ switched off the blender.
Ward, Ksen explained, Has convinced Gerry
that a green tea malt is the greatest thing for dinner any man could
It is, Targuman spoke. Especially the
Deluxe version. Divine He leaned forward and filled the two cups
before turning back to the blender, loading a measure of chopped greens.
Mr. Danskin is going to get a nice shot of reality, Targuman
assured, finger on the switch. All aboard . . . The Datura
Express is leaving the station. He flipped the switch, blended
it, then poured the concoction into the second cup. With a black felt
pen he put a small dot on the lid. See the difference? Targ
said to Ksen. She nodded and Janet loaded them into the bag. Hes
got about forty-five minutes until lift off once he drinks it. Youll
want to time it.
Good work, Mr. Targuman, Pete let.
Thanks, Chief, Targ nodded with a half salute,
adjusting himself in his rubber boots.
I wandered down the hallway. In a side room, Sean was nearly
finished putting his pelican costume on. Under his eyes was a black
kohl that made him look like he was about to run out to play right field
on a sunny day at Chavez Ravine.
Its supposed to be good luck Ksen said,
pointing to the black.
It drives away malevolent spirits. Ksen was
suddenly behind me, holding the white bag with two green tea malts.
Peter, Janet and Targuman stood behind her, the lot of them looking
This is one of the most exciting days of my life,
Ksen said. And Ward is as nervous as a drama student before his
Sean, Targuman held up a short rocks glass
he pushed towards the doorway. I have just the right
amount left for you if you want it.
Sean smiled wide-eyed. Targ, I would if I wasnt
such a professional. And I aint an Indian. I may be the Pelican
Man to a lot of peoplethe Sooshy Shaun, over whatever
it isbut I aint an Indian. My DNA alone could reject that
toxic brew. But I wouldnt mind a Heineken if you got one.
Heineken? Peter looked around. Thats
a beer, right?